The Stages of Change

So often in therapy people articulate one thing and then do another. For example, they will come in saying they have been exhibiting a particular behaviour for long enough and they are ready and willing to do the work to make a shift, however, upon discussing and planning the ‘homework’ for this shift to occur, they essentially do not follow through with the plan and end up coming back to therapy precisely with the same presenting problem that they originally came in with.

When our actions and words conflict with one another, this can sometimes occur if we are not truly embracing what stage of change we are in. We can talk ourselves into or out of anything but what we really need to do is get real with where we’re at and do the work that needs to be done there in that space, so that we can eventually move onwards and upwards towards real, authentic and long-lasting change.

So what are the stages of change, exactly? Let’s go through them together.

Precontemplation: You don’t see your behaviour as an actual problem. It is usually those around you who have articulated that there is something that needs to change because they have a problem with how you choose to do things. Or, perhaps you do recognize that there is a problem, but you do not believe that you will be successful at changing it so you are not willing to try.

Contemplation: OK – you now recognizes that there is something that you would like to change, however, there are more perceived benefits to maintaining the status quo at this point. Making changes creates a lot of work and you have to really be ready, willing and able to go all the way.

Preparation: There has been recognition of the fact that something needs to change and a true desire to consider what work needs to be done. This stage is about gathering information (what types of skills need to be built, what behaviours need to be adjusted, etc.) and potentially engaging in micro-changes. There is also brainstorming on clear goals and tasks that need to be accomplished in order to move in the desired direction of change.

Action: Time to get to work! You are driven and dedicated as you enter into the difficult and uncomfortable world of doing things differently! It is not easy being here but it can be incredibly rewarding. Goals are clear, tasks are being completed, and there is movement. Things are starting to shift and real progress is being made.                                     

Maintenance: Choosing to engage in these new behaviours and resisting the urge to jump back into old bad habits occurs in the maintenance stage. You have put in a lot of time and effort to get to this stage so it’s all about being consistent and making good choices.

Relapse: It’s inevitable. We are human and as such, we are imperfect. Life throws you curveballs that can easily knock you off your course. That is what happens here. It’s OK. You can get through this, too. You’ve been through this before so you know what to do (and you don’t have to go through it alone).

I like to explore the stages of change with my clients to gain an awareness of where they currently are and where they would like to go. It can also be helpful to understand that we go through phases associated with change and each stage needs to be given the time and space it deserves for exploration. An incredible amount of therapeutic work can be done when we are vulnerable and honest with ourselves and others.

If there is a change you’ve been thinking about making, what stage do you think you are currently in?